I recently read an article that described how some families are doing away with the ceremonial aspects of a cremation or burial mainly because of the cost, but the article’s name confused me, with its call to ‘resurrect the art of celebrating death‘.
Surely it will be a rare occasion that someone will set out to celebrate death. But I can’t disagree with the main sentiment of the article, which was that any occasion that encourages people to join together in support of one another to celebrate someone’s life has to be good. It’s truly a shame that more people don’t actually have the opportunity to learn about how the lives of friends, family, colleagues, communities have been touched by them through their lifetime. Maybe there’s something in the idea of a ‘living wake’, having a celebration while someone’s living rather than waiting until they have passed.
There’s no getting away from it, marking the death of someone who has been part of our own story is one of the most difficult things life will throw at us. The funeral date looms ahead, radiating sadness, and more often than not dread. But, amidst the solemnity of the occasion, if the funeral can provide a unique opportunity to celebrate the life that has been lived, the lives that the deceased has touched, and the difference they have made to the world during their lifetime, those involved should leave feeling a sense of enrichment that might even slightly soften their deep feelings of loss.
More than once I have attended funerals of family members only to discover a whole life story I hadn’t previously known. That is my loss, not theirs. I should have been more interested, more inquisitive, more engaged. But at least in retrospect I have been able to remove the layers and appreciate the person through someone else’s eyes. This is one of the reasons I decided to train as a Funeral Celebrant. Jayne Graham, Independent Funeral Celebrant
